The Role of Acceptance in Relationships

What is acceptance in a relationship? Acceptance is the underlying receiving and valuing of another person as they are. In a relationship, acceptance is a very critical component to added and building of trust and security. Think about a person in your life that you know will always be there for you, even when you mess up; a person who you know their love for you is unconditional. Most likely that person that you are thinking of is someone who accepts you for who you are, flaws included. Now think of your spouse, do you accept them for who they are? What components of them do you value? What parts of them are hard to value and accept?

 It is important that when we enter into a relationship with our spouse that we know them and that we accept them. If we walk into a relationship with hopes of lots of changes, then we are not accepting that person. However, if we walk into a relationship with an understanding of that person’s flaws and you choose to love them anyway, that’s acceptance. This does not mean that those flaws are not talked about or worked on, it just means that even if those flaws don’t change the love will still be there. Don’t we all want that unconditional love! But if we want to receive that from our spouse, we sometimes need to be the first one to offer it. It is hard to feel accepted if you don’t feel safe and secure about your relationship with your spouse, and then it is equally hard to accept them. Challenge yourself and ask yourself, what kind of love is your marriage made up of? Is it love that is unconditional, accepting and committed, or is it conditional love that has boundaries based on outcomes, and performance that feels unsafe?

Everyone deserves that unconditional accepting love in marriage, sometimes we just need help finding it, and sometimes life gets sticky and we need help getting un-stuck. Take a decision today to re-kindle the love in your marriage!

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